Advertising is a pathetic beast. Billboards and TV ads clamor for a blinking second of our attention, hoping to lure us in. The Internet has only exasperated the absurdity of advertising. Whether it’s pressing a blinking button on an ad to make a monkey outrun a hunter or a movie trailer that always seems to start when the volume is all the way up, these ads are intrusive, annoying, and fail to heighten the user experience. There is one ad, however, that puts the rest to shame.

Sites such as and have recently poured thousands of advertising dollars into On the surface it certainly makes sense: according to Quantcast, Myspace skews heavily towards a younger and less affluent crowd. If this is the case, then we simply must target this crowd with images of mildly cute girls lounging around in pajamas, pouting for their webcams in a desperate effort to land awkward 19 year-old boys who wouldn’t know what to do with them in bed anyways. It makes perfect sense, right?whore.jpg

No doubt you’ve seen this annoying whore-bag (pictured here at the right) on Myspace. It starts out innocently enough, with her singing along to a song. I was fine with that until she started to dance. What’s wrong with that? Don’t girls like to dance? Yes, but not with their laptop still in hand. Is True telling us that we should desire girls who dance while they chat online? Or are they promoting the fact that she can multi-task? If she can easily do two sexual things at once, then I recommend she move to Chatsworth down by L.A.

The anguishing ad ends with her doing some sort of retarded version of the Arsenio Hall “whoop whoop” with her right arm. True shouldn’t so much be ashamed for catering to the lowest of carnal desires, but for not doing it with class as others have done before.