I just moved across the country. Here, in no particular order, are the things I have learned and will probably screw up again:

1) Don’t give your mom a set of keys because she will surreptitiously bring boxes down to your apartment and sneak them into the moving truck without you even getting a chance to look through them. Inevitably, these boxes will be filled with shit from your ex-boyfriend(s).

2) Don’t get drunk and email said ex-boyfriend(s) to tell them about their shit.

3) Really don’t offer to send it all back.

4) Use lots of bubblewrap. Also comes in handy when you want to muffle your screams when opening aforementioned box of trinkets.

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