There is a god and he has a sense of humor.  And justice.

For all of the terrible, abhorrent sh*t that the lazy, loaded children of Hollywood get away with in this country (examples: excessive partying, frequent slaps on the wrist by the “law,” lacking a moral compass, failure to hold a job like the rest of us are forced to do in order to eat, and being generally useless to society and the world at large) – one of them finally got what they deserved.

PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO JAIL. 

I had to put that in caps – it’s just too exciting to fathom.  Even if she is there for 2 hours like drunky-face Michelle Rodriguez was (mmm… which way is that door swinging anyway?), it will be better than nothing at all.  For as addicted as I am to TMZ, I hate, loathe, rage at seeing stories of celebrities (or “celebretards,” as these socialites have been recently pegged) getting away with the type of criminal acts that would get your typical middle-class person put directly in prison and would probably plague them for life, what with the number of background checks and increased security and whatnot.  In the “real people world,” if you drive under a suspended license, you go to jail.  That’s just the way it is.  But not according to Kathy Hilton, Paris’s well-siliconed and Botoxed mommy dearest, who had the following commentary on dlisted.com:

This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with this nonsense. It’s a joke.

Really, oh really, Kathy – the taxpayers are suddenly your greatest concern?  Is it a possibility that Kathy Hilton even knows how much/comparatively little she pays in taxes per fiscal year?  No, it is not.  It is comforting to know that we have a shared sense of humor, Kathy and I, because I think that her daughter’s pending imprisonment is hilarious.  In fact, Paris Hilton remains one of the best punchlines in the country!  I think that America is laughing along with me (as are Kim Kardashian and Linsday “I do tons of blow, is anyone surprised?” Lohan).  Nicky Hilton must be chuckling too, somewhere, probably in the empty showroom for her ill-fated handbag collection.  Stick to hotels and nose candy, honey.

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