Paper can’t win
Receiving forwarded emails sucks, luckily most of my friends don’t bother doing it, but a co-worker did send me a pretty funny one today and I’m sharing.
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!
Great moral story.
Comments
Phil
Sounds like your friend needs to dial back on his Red Bull intake?
Andy
Nothing makes me spine tingle like well-written prose.
Mike Panic
Andy – you just made me feel dumb for the day, I had to look up what prose meant
Andy
Dude, everyone knows that the word prose comes from the Latin prosa, meaning straightforward, hence the term “prosaic,” which is often seen as pejorative.
I mean, come on!
Photoshop Contests
Haha, gonna try that for sure.
The rules of that game make no sense at all.
Alex
That made me laugh… Did Maddox (or maddox.xmission.com) write this?
It sounds very much like his style of writing. I mean I’m not saying it was him but it’s something he would write.
at any rate very funny:)
Leion
This is funny
Russ
Dude has obviously never wrapped friends up in rolls of newsprint. Even after soaking them with a hose it’s tough to get out, if you do it right.
Joe
Actually, in a way, your hand (the paper) could protect you from the fist (the rock) if you hold up your palm and grab the other persons fist in time.
Paper does win!
nnndwn
that is from found.com