I posted this on my MySpace earlier and I need some more feedback… I usually don’t post super-personal blogs on this site, but I’m wondering… is this funny or just really awkward?

From a recent conversation with a soon-to-be ex, regarding a mutual friend and discovering how he knew her. It was kind of funny then too, but the kind of funny where you laugh without really feeling joy, per se, but incredulity. Now, it’s funny. And if you think the girl in question might be your little sister… then she probably is and I apologize. All names removed to protect the innocent. Since guy in question is not so innocent, we shall refer to him as “DB.” I’m sure you can figure out what that stands for.

ME: Hey, so I Facebooked you and we have one mutual friend – [redacted] – how do you know her? She’s one of my best friend’s little sisters.
DB: It’s a funny story actually…
ME: Really?
DB: Yeah… I met her at a party at Penn State when she was a freshman there and I was a junior in high school.
ME: Oh… I’m not laughing yet, where does it get funny?
DB: Well… she was pretty drunk… and I was a virgin at the time…
ME: [silence]
DB: You don’t want to hear this, do you?
ME: No, I don’t. But keep going.
DB: I lost my virginity to her. I was 16, she was 18. And she had a boyfriend at the time too, she even said his name while we were going at it… I think she was kinda drunk.
ME: [silence]
DB: She’s hot though.
ME: [silence]
DB: Adrienne, I’m kidding. Not about her being hot – she is hot, but not as hot as you.
ME: Fuck you.
DB: I mean – at least I lost my virginity to someone you know!! And it doesn’t hurt that she was hot… like, really hot. You’re friends with her older sister? What’s she like?
ME: [rolls eyes, wonders how she got here]

I’m not sure what is more disturbing… the fact that he banged my friend’s little sister, or the fact that I was kind-of-possibly-almost-dating someone younger than my friend’s little sister. The end.

Similar articles that might also interest you:

Comments