The title of this piece would make a great name for a porno.  Thankfully, it’s not.  Below you’ll find my friend Jaxon’s take on last week’s Vice Presidential debate between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin.  Jax isn’t a writer by trade, but he makes several relevant points with his own sense of style.  Feel free to comment on this site or on his MySpace page.  Residents of the greater Philadelphia area can tune in to hear Jaxon on 93.3 WMMR weekdays from 3-7pm.

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Tonight I plan on making a Pepto-Bismol milkshake. 2 tablespoons of Pepto-Bismol. 1 scoop of vanilla ice cream. Blend. Drink. I’m feeling nauseous. I suspect it has something to do with this grating voice I keep hearing in my head. The voice keeps repeating the word “maverick” in this God-awful accent that I can only describe as maybe the sound made by the offspring of a dyed-in-the-wool Minnesotan and a retarded polar bear. The voice stops every few minutes only to be replaced by the same irritating voice repeating “NUKECULEAR”.

Doggone it!! I would like to think that anyone with above average intelligence or even just the basic ability to think logically would have seen that her mannerisms and regurgitated talking points were obviously rehearsed ad-nauseam to a captive audience of elk and moose before ever stepping foot in St. Louis. I would like to think this. I can dream can’t I?

Ah shucks, folks… Say it ain’t so Joe, but hasn’t that down-home bullshit already embarrassed this country enough over the last 8 years? Oh, and please quit trying to convince me you’re just another “middle class” gal! I know middle class, Governor, and you my friend are not middle class. Dump the tanning bed that’s in your house, sell the airplane you own and release your tax returns and then we’ll talk. I’m sorry, but you give intelligent women in politics a bad name. I’m surprised that they are not all trying to sell their vaginas on eBay this very moment just to distance themselves from you.

P.S. I get it!! You’re trying to show me that you’re just another all-American hockey mom by passing your baby around on stage, but it’s 11:30 at night…. shouldn’t that child be in bed?