How not to hire a wedding photographer II

The Wedding Photographer

Four and a half long years ago I wrote How not to hire a wedding photographer, an article that was a response to a Craigslist ad about someone who had very unrealistic goals about what they wanted.  In the article I broke down each and every absurd request the person had and gave reasonable answers.  I’m going to attempt to do the same thing with a recent Craigslist ad where a bride is flying off the chain at what she seems to think is a case of hanging out and shooting photos.

The original ad posted to the Seattle Craigslist:

Continue reading »

And now there’s this…

Seriously.  We elect these people:

Republican Rep. Bachus Makes List of Socialists in House of Representatives [Huff Po]

And the coward didn’t even have the balls to release the names of these so-called “Socialists” in Congress.

I would think, in these times of international instability and economic unrest that there are more pressing issues at hand.

I fly like paper get high like planes

One would have to live under a rock, in a cave, on mars to have not heard about the $700 billion bailout program Bush is asking for, the press won’t shut up about it.  The big 3 auto makers are trying to get their grubby little hands on $25 billion of those dollars so they don’t go under.  Some random stat that I can’t find but know I read / heard is that roughly one in 10 Americans is employed somehow by an auto maker in the US.  Seems a bit high to me, but regardless, they are asking for a metric shit-ton of money so they don’t fold.  Fine.

Photo by: Yogi

But, don’t show up at the doorstep of the house you are at to beg for money and ask where you can valet park your private fucking jet!  Not only did the auto exec’s fly in on private jets, they didn’t even jet-pool!  A quick Google search shows that a private jet can cost around $4,000 per hour!  Checking a few major ticket sites online, It shows that it is roughly one and a half hour to fly from Detroit to Washington D.C., or $6,000 each way.  I can book a 1st class ticket for a wee tad over $800, roundtrip! ZOMGWTF?!

Meh!

One of perhaps the most over-used internet phrases is now officially a word.  In the 30th edition of the Collins English Dictionary, the word Meh will appear.

The dictionary defines “meh” as an expression of indifference or boredom, or an adjective meaning mediocre or boring. Examples given by the dictionary include “the Canadian election was so meh.”

The dictionary’s compilers said the word originated in North America, spread through the Internet and was now entering British spoken English.

While this is a British dictionary and the word clearly comes from North America, you are more likely to read it on the internet then actually here someone say it.   I personally think that the top two definitions at urbandictionary.com are better:

1. Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care.
A: What do you want for dinner?
B: Meh.

2. “The verbal equivalent of a shrug of the shoulders.” -quoth me
“(While holding gun to their own head) Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t pull this trigger!”
“meh.”

Either way, it’s kind of interesting to see the evolution of our language, often for worse I would assume.   A few other words that were considered are,

frenemy, an enemy disguised as a friend; and huggles, a hybrid of hugs and snuggles.

The word huggles alone is enough to make want to throw-up in my mouth a little.

Thanks to Nikki for sending me the link: Yahoo News
Photo credit: Яick Harris

Look At These F*cking Ads!

Every now and again I find a website that has no useful purpose at all, other than making me laugh and offending some people here and there.  Yesterday Randomn3ss staff writer Andy had a link in his chat client that seriously made me laugh, and I’m sure it will offend some people.

The site is aidsvertising.com and they really like the word fuck, so don’t go there if someone is looking over your shoulder.  In a nutshell, they take everyday products and add their own marketing to them.  It’s unique and targeted demographic, and I’m now a fan.

I See “Abstinence-Only Worked for that Palin Family

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

What the hell happened to the Republican machine? They just shot themselves in the foot with Sarah Palin. First, the internet goes ape-shit over rumors that her 4-month-old baby (FOUR MONTHS – which she is not taking care of because she went back to work three days later and fell onto McCain’s cock as the VP nod) with Down’s Syndrome is her 17yearold daughter’s kid. Fucking Springer shit, right?

No, no… it gets better.

This statement was released today – Labor Day – a slow or non-existent news day. A day when people are barbecuing and drinking beers. Well… I’m drinking beers too, but thankfully, I’m surfing the internet and finding this shit out. The bloggers be praised!

From her camp (text found here):

We have been blessed with five wonderful children who we love with all our heart and mean everything to us. Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that, as parents, we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We’re proud of Bristol’s decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support.

Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family. We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi’s privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates.

I’m Insulted

Alright. I’m not big on writing political commentary, but I’m pretty pissed off. I was all about this election – the excitement of a new world order and the potential for change – but now I’m just insulted.

Dear Obama – You had SO MUCH potential to be truly revolutionary with your VP choice. You could have chosen John Edwards (oops – that whole affair thing… guess not!) or choose a WOMAN and go with Hillary Clinton (oops – too much pride? too many ideological differences? too worried that you’d get the ENTIRE nation behind you?). But NO – you choose Joe Biden who, yes, has that foreign policy experience you so lack (and everyone warned you was going to be a huge issue). But he also has a completely dependent son and a spotty record with lobbyists and some cash but I guess that’s better than fucking some politico-ho like Edwards.

Senator Obama, you could have been a true revolutionary. Instead you chose a rich, white male to keep some semblance of the status quo and to feasibly gain votes.

Dear McCain and the entire Republican Party – you fucking insult me. You think I am stupid and ruled by my uterus. You think that SIMPLY because you chose a WOMAN to be the VP that now I will vote for you. You think I will overlook the fact that she has zero experience, has been governor for a minute, and being governor of Alaska, has undoubtedly let the government dabble in fucking up our natural resources up there. You saw that you’re running against a black man and picked a woman to hopefully pick up those female voters from the Dems who are pissed about Biden. Well – fuck you – I think your choice was cheap and purely for PR, not experience. AT LEAST Obama chose someone who would make up for his shortcomings as a politician; you chose someone who, when you die, will be known as the “hottest US President in history.”

I’m insulted.

The killer engagement ring

The thought of a bride-zilla having one of these kind of scares me.

Killer Engagement Ring by Tobias Wong

Tobias Wong makes engagement rings that can kill you. The razor-sharp diamond point is set into the ring so it can’t get knocked out when you smash someone’s face in, and the edges of the ring are really soft so it won’t cut into your skin during the pounding.

Source: Geekologie via Yank Design

Step off, street people

In the words of Ellyn Taxin (wise sage and regional manager for City Sports), “the warm weather brings out all the freaks.”

She’s right.

In my near-daily routine of walking the streets of Philly (notice I did not say “street walking in Philly.” That was intentional to deflect all inquiries into my moral stability), I am accosted by random people. I’m not just talking about bums (although the bums are really making a comeback in Center City, damn). I’m talking overzealous college students, Obama supporters, and random weirdos. Continue reading »

Listen to your iPod while dropping a deuce

The launch of the iPod spawned an entire second industry catering to accessories to help do more with your iPod, in more places.  The list of products seems endless, but I think today I may have stumbled upon one of the greatest uses for an iPod that I would never use, ever.  Introducing iCarta.

ipod_toilet_paper.gif

This strangely named device from Atech Flash Technology combines an iPod dock with speakers and a toilet paper holder.  Next time you are feeling a little stopped up, put on some soothing music, grab a magazine and enjoy the situation.

Possibly most disturbing is the fact that I know of no one who washes their hands before sitting down to go number two or before preparing a mummy hand to clean up.  Also for consideration are those late night wakeups when us men get up to go to the bathroom and refuse to turn the light on because we have such superior aim.