Randomn3ss

As one who was young when her mother died, I send out a greeting and hug to everyone who has lost their mom and who are missing her on Mother’s Day. I send it out because the nicest card I have ever gotten in my life was a Mother’s Day card, though I’m not a mom. It was from a dear friend (the mom of one of my best friends from college) saying how proud of me my mom surely would be, what a credit to her that I turned out like I have, and to offer comfort for not having a mom there that day to hug and thank on Mother’s Day. That was the sweetest thing ever. Mary Judd Scott was a remarkable mom herself, and I feel immense gratitude to this day for that moment of thoughtfulness and the time I shared in her (too short) life.

While I can’t speak for everyone who has lost a mother at whatever age and for whatever reason, I think it’s fairly safe to say that we still miss our moms, probably every day, and the general public doesn’t really acknowledge this loss often. I’ll be so bold to say I want all you with moms to remember and honor that, uncomfortable as it may be. I think I feel the worst for little kids without moms, and for those who are estranged from their living mothers, whether by their own choice or their mothers’ choice, or neither, or both. I especially feel for those mothers with children overseas in the armed forces, the mothers serving in them, and the mothers everywhere who have lost children to war. I give a proverbial hug to us all.

I’ll also be so bold to ask those of you with moms who incessantly complain about their mothers to stop. Figure things out, stop wasting precious time. I don’t say that out of self pity or wanting attention, just realize those of us without moms always feel a pang listening to you to talk about your mom (whether you’re having troubles or sharing a happy story about her) - we’d love to have the opportunity to talk to ours, be with her, and just wish you’d direct your energies toward creating good relations with her. I fully know some mothers have breached trust or behaved in ways that are unforgivable, but I also have come to believe we have to forgive fully, and move on (in all situations) to create harmony. The alternative is having this miserable little feeling inside that never goes away, and eventually seeps into the other corners and parts of our lives.

Some have accused me of being a ‘little mother hen’. I guess I’m okay with that. I decided early on to give that good part of mothering to others because I knew that’s what people yearn for the most, even if they don’t know it or want to acknowledge it; if I couldn’t have it, I would give it then, which meant I sort of got it, too. I think I luckily learned never to go into that not so good part of mothering, smothering, because I learned quickly I hated that; a young girl without her mom rejects those trying to (s)mother just for the fact that no one was or could replace her.

Being a mother is the toughest and most important role in the world, without a doubt. I commend every mom out there, and implore everyone to love your mother, and all mothers. Give them a hand, give them a break, give them a hug, give them respect, give them what you would want most, express your gratitude for her. I read somewhere that our job is to mother ourselves. It’s great and it helps… but sometimes it doesn’t work, and it’s just not the same as having your mom.

With sincere and deep love, to my mother, Evelyn, and to all moms,
Lauren O

The following is an account of my run at Broad Street.  My company, City Sports, sponsored me in the race.  This blog also serves as a run down of running gear and shoe tech, so if it doesn’t sound like my normal writing, it’s not supposed to.  However, it’s an honest account of one of the best days I’ve had in a while.  Read on. 

On Sunday, May 4th, I completed the latest accomplishment in my running life: my 2nd Broad Street 10 Miler benefitting the American Cancer Society.  It was the 29th running of the race through the City of Brotherly Love… and some parts of the city that lack brotherly love. Part of what makes this race so cool is that you get to run through less-than-friendly parts of the city without being chased (although technically we were, by 20,000+ people).  I was joined/cattle prodded by three City Sports colleagues and one City Sports colleague by way of marriage.  Miraculously, we all paced together, told stories, laughed, held back the inevitable torrents of urine, and beat our goal by two minutes.  I finished at 1:28:55, beating my previous year’s time by 20 minutes.

Oddly enough, I thought I was in crap shape this year compared to last.  Last year I ate healthily all week, didn’t drink or smoke for two weeks leading up to the race, and went to bed at 8pm the night before.  This year… oh this year was quite different.  This year I went out every night before the race, forgot to quit smoking (I’m a dumbass, I’m well aware, thank you), and drank 6 beers with Josh and Jovanna Everetts the night before (who finished at 1:38:32 and 1:28:54, respectively).  And shit - I did one hell of a lot better and ended the race smiling like I needed a helmet.  Making the experience even sweeter was the participation of two newcomers to Philadelphia, City Sports and running.  My friends MP and Kelly popped their Broad Street cherries, with MP finishing at a blazing 1:28:31 and Kelly at 2:00:37. 

The real speed demons of City Sports were Keith Zluky (1:13:12) and Suzanne Donaghue (1:29:22).  However, the unofficial South African queen of Broad Street is running royalty Margot Fleming, who finished at 1:11:13.  If you saw a black mohawk whiz by you in Newtons, that was her.

As for me, I outfitted myself in the Asics Nimbus 9, Under Armour Heat Gear tights, Nike socks (camo colored, holla!), a City Sports tech tee with a sweet CS logo (thanks to Chrissy up at corporate for hooking me up!), and UA running hat.  I originally was going to run in the lighter Saucony Grid Sinisters, but decided that they were far better as a 5k shoe than a 10 mile shoe.  The Nimbuses weren’t as heavy as I expected them to be through 10 miles and my feet weren’t sore by the end.  The weather began at a cool 55 degrees, slowly warming up to the 60s by the finish.  The UA long tights were perfect though (I was used to running in them in college), keeping my legs cool but comfortably compressed (I love UA though, if anyone from them is reading, feel free to add me on as a wear-tester!).  I didn’t used to buy into the dri-fit/techwick/polyesther deal, but after running in cotton for so long, this stuff really is nice.  I sweat a lot too and this stuff kept most of the moisture from my body.  If you can afford it, I say - run it in.

After Broad Street, we *drove* to our friend Kelly’s house for some post-race barbequeing and comsumption of beverages.  Many beers were harmed during this time and much stretching was done.  Worst part of the day?  Walking up the steps to the bathroom.  Best part of the day?  Crossing that finish line.  Thanks to my mom for being there at the end of the race; to KAM and Justin for providing the afterparty; Josh and Jovanna (and Denali) for letting me invade their house for the weekend; for MP just being MP; and for everyone from the Sports and the Illadelph who sent their congrats and well wishes my way.  You guys rock… and you should totally run with me next year.

Below: some pics from the post-race barbeque…

Yippee yay, it’s earth day!

Earth day was created in 1970 as a global environmental awareness initiative. It is now observed in 175 countries and supported by progressive action organizations such as the Sierra Club, Greenpeace and the Earth Day Network. (Thank you Wikipedia.)

Some great, green + fun websites for earth day and beyond:

1. Buy local foods, support local farms. Visit Local Harvest to find local farms and farmers markets. Go out and pet a goat.
2. Carpool. Check out eRideShare to find local peeps that are looking to share rides. You can even search for someone to carpool across the country with.
3. Remove yourself from junk mail lists. Check out GreenDimes, sign up to be removed from junk mailings and in turn they’ll send you a dollar, plant a tree on your behalf, or send you a free green ‘zine. Everybody wins! (FYI: When you sign up for this they will ask for credit card information to verify your identity. Sort of like what paypal does. It’s been a few months since I signed up and so far no funny business.)
4. Once you go black, you never go back… take a walk on the dark side: Blackle is Google powered and eco-friendly.
5. Recycle your goods and get new ones at freecycle. This site will hook you up with a local group that supports the reuse of anything and everything. Although the site is a little difficult to navigate, once you’re in there seems to be a lot of activity going on in each of the different areas. There’s a slightly loved television stand in York, PA with your name on it.
6. Go zero! The Conservation Fund will help you measure your very own carbon emissions and tell you how many trees you need to plant to offset your consumption. I’ve got 16 trees to plant this year to outweigh my emission consumptions. Damn. I had better get started. You can do it yourself or they allow you to make a donation for whatever the cost comes out to be to plant your trees.
7. Get free stuff (by paying for it) at the Sierra Club. Right now, $15 will get you a membership (usually around $35), and a handy backpack for a thank you gift.
8. Be a green person/dog/baby. I bought my dog these organic treats in the shape of little cupcakes that he refuses to eat from a store I found on Green People. They also have eco friendly and holistic business listings for people too. And their travel section has some really neat stuff.
9. Save on gas. With gas prices expected to hit $4 this summer, be sure to get your daily feul economy tips for some serious advice on saving money at the gas tank and saving the environment.
10. Read up. Eco Chick’s blog is as sassy as it is green. And I don’t use the word *sassy* often. Starre Vartan’s website is funny, smart and earth friendly. And how could a girl named Starre not be cool? Be sure to read her list of what not to do for Earth Day. As she says, because mother earth is a woman. Yeah!

It is true, we all need to be a little greener. Without the earth we won’t be here.

April 22 also happens to be the democratic primary in PA, so get out and vote all you registered Pennsylvanians. Polls are open 7am – 8pm, your local polling place is usually within walking distance to your house. Brody and I will be on our way to our designated voting center bright and early wearing our Obama buttons. See you there.

Yesterday Elizabeth wrote 10 Things men should always do. There are some insightful things in there that, at least for me, should be common knowledge, but I’m sure someone will find them useful. There is always a flip side to the coin. Like Elizabeth, I’m in my 20’s, OK late 20’s, single and get some attention from women. I am grown up enough to admit that I am far from perfect and am aware of changes I need to make to myself, however women also need to pay attention to. In direct rebuttal to Elizabeth’s top 10, my 10 are:

1. Give us an honest hug. Elizabeth and a commenter complained about a limp handshake from men. The women version is the bend at waist, keeping feet two feet from a man while giving them a hug hello or a hug goodbye. That is a fine thing to do if it’s a family member or friend, but if it’s a date, lean in and hug us we actually do like it.
2. Tell us what you like. I’ll happily bring you something but I need to know what you are interested in. Flowers are nice, but it’s also an easy out. Going out on a limb here, us men are kind of dumb, don’t always hint around to what you like and don’t like, sometimes you need to creatively tell us outright. If we are too stupid to listen and remember, shame on us.
3. Be OK with a lunch date. I have no problem paying for a meal when we go out, but be open to the idea of a lunch date as a first or second date, not the five star restaurants you have been dying to go to. Why? Because if we don’t gel well, not only am I not going to be excited to spend a few hundred on dinner, I’m stuck with you throughout the whole two or more hours that we will be there. Lunch dates are great because they have virtually no impact on a wallet and if things don’t go well, you can bounce in 45 minutes. If the date does go well, sit and drink coffee with me and let the discussions flow.
4. Say thank you when I open the door. My Mother who not only taught me how to open doors for others but to also say please and thank you raised me. If I open the door for you, please have the courtesy to look me in the eyes as you walk past, say thank you or at least nod your head in acknowledgment of my gesture towards you.
5. Reach over and unlock my door. This doesn’t apply to everyone, but my car doesn’t have power locks. If I unlock your door and open it for you, by the time I get around to my side I’d at least expect you to lean over and unlock my door for me. This was called the girlfriend test in a movie I think it still applies.
6. Don’t hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes. As much as I understand that a phone should not be answered during dinner, movie, first dozen dates, don’t disappear to the bathroom for twenty minutes to call your girlfriend and give them updates as the date is progressing. If you are not having a good time, skip dessert and go home, it’s that simple.
7. Have condoms. Everyone should have them, not just me.
8. Have something non-alcoholic to drink at your house. I don’t drink alcohol and don’t assume that I do. Don’t get bombed either, very unattractive.
9. My dog will love you regardless; don’t forget to pay attention to me. Like Elizabeth, I have a small dog that is really sweet and sleeps in bed with me. She will love you no matter what and will want to play with you all day, everyday. I’m fine with that, but don’t spend so much time on her that you forget I’m there too. We come as a package, lol.
10. Pickup the phone and call. I’m a self-admitted texting fiend however I do enjoy the sound of a woman’s voice. Certain tones, sarcasm and jokes don’t get translated well through texting, so call me. If for some reason I can’t answer, leave a message.

I just want to get along, like Elizabeth, some of this is a wish list and some is advice, not all of it is applicable to all women and not everything about dating is clear cut black and white, right or wrong. But if you go an extra step to find out a few things about me and share some things about you, we will be much happier together.

You may think what I’m about to write here is asking a lot, but I don’t think so. Let me preface this by saying that I’m 25 and while having had a good number of fulfilling and healthy relationships in my life, I’m currently single. However I’m not lacking the attention of men by any means. I think that at this point in my life that it has a little more to do with quality versus quantity. Maybe I’m picky, maybe I’m fickle, but the following are just a few things that I think EVERY man should pay attention to:

1. Have a good handshake. There’s not much worse than your first impression of a guy being that of a limp fish. There’s just not.
2. Bring me something. I don’t need you to have a dozen roses for me every time you see me. I don’t really even like roses. But the first time we meet for a date or the first time I make you dinner at my house, bring something. It doesn’t have to be expensive, girls like little things that don’t cost a lot of money because it shows you are thinking of them.
3. Pay for dinner. This one generally applies to first dates. I will fight you for the bill a little because I am an adult, I make my own money and I generally try to be kind and thoughtful. This does not mean, however, that if you allow me to go dutch with you that I think any better of you. Quite the contrary. Any guy that immediately gives in to my “Can I help you pay for that?” on a first date, I will think twice about.
4. Hold the door. I’m a lady. Always hold the door for a lady. Just do it.
5. Don’t always open the car door. It’s cute for say, the beginning of the first date. Maybe if I was pregnant (hopefully we aren’t on our first date at the time) or if my hands are full… but I would do the same for you. Other than that, I’d rather you get in, start the car and ask me if I’m hot or cold.
6. Don’t answer your phone during dinner (and/or during any other intimate situations). This also means no texting as well. Being on your phone during dinner is just rude. It tells a woman that you aren’t interested at her, you’re more interested in looking at what time it is or whatever. Wear a watch. It’s understandable to be more easy going when you’ve been seeing someone for a while, but not during a nice dinner and especially not on a first date. And don’t try to hide it under the table either.
7. Have condoms. No, this doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with you on our first date. Or third, or tenth. However, if you are lucky enough to get a girl into the sack, you had better be prepared.
8. Know how to open a bottle of wine. Please see #7. Just kidding. I can go for a beer every once in a while, but I also love a glass of wine after work. Its nice to come home to a man that can open the bottle while I take my shoes off. Plus I’m a grown up. Kegs just aren’t as much of a turn on as they used to be.
9. Be nice to my dog. You know, it says a lot about a person when they are nice to animals. My dog is very sweet and small, he isn’t going to bite you if you don’t act like an ass. Be nice to him. Especially when he is sleeping in my bed and you’re not.
10. Keep in touch. It’s nice to hear from you every once in a while. I don’t need someone up my ass but please don’t play games with me. I don’t think you are any cooler because you wait an extra day to call me back.

Maybe it’s a wish list, a little advice to the guys out there who are wondering what they are doing wrong… or what they’re not doing. I’m as much an independent and self-reliant woman as the next, but I like men that act like men. No, I’m not going to stop talking to you because you don’t bring me flowers on our first date. I’m simply saying that a little chivalry can go a long way. It’s surprising how these small things make a difference, and I guarantee that you will get it back tenfold.

Got anything to add?

Hanging out just under your stomach and snuggled next to your duodenum is your good old pancreas. The pancreas is pretty important; along with aiding digestion, it produces important hormones such as insulin that regulate blood sugar. Sadly, pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly forms of cancer today, and is generally predisposed to men but can and does inflict over 33,000 Americans of all races and genders each year. Remission is very rare, as cancer of the pancreas kills the majority of people within 5 years of diagnosis. Most of the time it’s sooner. I’m sure many of us have heard the sad news that our beloved Patrick Swazye has been diagnosed (alright maybe not beloved but he’s dying and I’m embellishing), and perhaps some of us have heard of Randy Pausch due to his amazing and heartfelt Last Lecture. If not, here is your chance to learn about this wonderful father, teacher and human being. Read on.

Thanks to modern technology, Randy Pausch is spreading his message to millions, and it’s been totally unintentional. With a PhD in computer science, he has spent the majority of his exceptional career exploring and expanding the realms of virtual reality. He’s one of those people that make you wonder what crazy, intense, supremely intelligent river is feeding his thoughts. A professor at Carnegie Mellon, Randy has authored/co-authored 5 books and numerous articles, loves turkey sandwiches on white bread with mayo, and has 3 adorable young children and a lovely wife. It’s an otherwise picture perfect life aside from the 10ish ugly cancerous tumors on his liver and pancreas that are currently and rapidly killing him.

In September of 2007 with a prognosis of 4-6 months left to live, Randy participated in a lecture series at Carnegie Mellon about reaching childhood dreams. His childhood dreams, consisting of playing in the NFL, meeting Captain Kirk, writing for an encyclopedia (I promise you his dorkiness is the root of his charm), reaching zero gravity and being an imagineer have successfully and for the most part been achieved. Although he never reached NFL status, Randy says that he got more out of not accomplishing this than he ever would have in reaching it. He learned the power of enthusiasm, and that experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted in the first place. Randy speaks of the importance of the head fake throughout his lecture - lessons learned indirectly. When parents enroll their kids in something such as sports, most of the time it isn’t about becoming major league, its about learning hard work and team work. Its stuff like that in which the lecture is based upon.

Randy speaks about brick walls, how they are there for a reason, brick walls let us show our dedication and they only there to stop those that don’t want it bad enough. He talks about how there is always a villain, there will always be someone in our lives that will challenge us. He talks about people in his life that have inspired him, how one such person told him that people will always surprise and impress you, even if you are pissed off and angry at someone, you just haven’t given them enough time.

Another aspect that is important about this speech is that it isn’t only telling us how to reach our own dreams, it’s also about helping others achieve their dreams. Randy is doing just that, reaching out to everyone and sharing his moving and honest path to success. Help others. Loyalty is a two way street. Pay attention. Don’t bail. Show gratitude. Don’t complain, just work harder. Find the best in everyone. Be prepared. Never give up. It isn’t necessarily about monetary success either, although that evidently seems to follow. The words of wisdom that Randy passes on are priceless, and in the end of the speech he reveals that he’s really been head-faking us all. These words aren’t really a lesson on how to reach your dreams, they’re on how to live your life. Most importantly, Randy says that if you lead your life the right way, karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you. In a world where it seems everyone is out for himself, the most motivating words are coming from a dying man to all of our ears.

And now they can be read as well. Soon after the lecture was given, it was posted on the Internet. Through the glory of sites such as youtube, over 6 million people have since accessed and watched Randy Pausch’s talk, and counting. Word spread and soon enough he had a book deal, which was cranked out skillfully in less than a year as Randy is on borrowed time. Every day it seems there is a new test, a new regimen, a new treatment that extends his life by what could be days or weeks or months. Each second is precious, the book was written in just an hour a day as to not take any time away from Randy’s children, two of which might be too young to even remember their father. Of course, as he states in his lecture, the biggest head-fake may be that Randy hasn’t done any of this for us, it’s for his children. His three young kids who will grow up without their father and perhaps without even a memory of him. It is a life guide dedicated to them that the public is now being gifted, and we should all be so fortunate to experience it.

Please click on the following links:

Watch the Last Lecture on video, buy his book (I’m sure you can find it on half.com), and be inspired. Randy Pausch’s story is truly fascinating and the lecture is great, I promise you will not be bored and you may even laugh a few times.

You can read about Randy Pauch’s daily progress on his website here. Be sure to check out the link to his personal and touching update section. Interestingly enough, its not depressing. He is optimistic and strong and he is fighting.

For more information on pancreatic cancer research and education, please visit the Lustgarten foundation here.

Being that yesterday was Earth Hour Day 2008, it inspired me to reflect on what I’ve read recently about climate change and going greener, to look at how I’m doing with going greener, and it made me wonder how others are evolving (or not) into a greener lifestyle.

This is the third article I’ve done on going greener, and another thing that inspired me to write again were a few recent magazine articles. In one, a national magazine who shall remain nameless but that regularly has a lot of articles on going greener and living more naturally, showed a photo of their whole staff and listed what each of them did to to live sustainably every day. I don’t think some understood what that meant really, and some seemed 25 years behind the times. “I turn the heat down when I leave the house.” Wah? Wow. Baffling, but then they’re in the business of making a magazine, not living the magazine every minute, I suppose. Another person listed “returning hangers to the dry cleaners”. Wow. Hmmm. Do we want to burst her bubble about the damage dry cleaners do to the environment and their employees’ health? You don’t need dry cleaners to clean most items that says “dry clean only”. Yes, she could have thrown the hangers away, which isn’t good, but the bigger help to the environment clearly is not to go to dry cleaners. All you have to do is smell the air at the dry cleaners to know it’s not good for anyone’s lungs. Thank goodness there is change happening in the industry and there are green dry cleaners springing up. And, thankfully several of the staff did more significant things like switch to a vegetarian diet, consciously choose a tiny apartment over a McMansion, and bike to work every day.

The other couple articles I read were about scientists who challenged my thinking and green way of living by asserting that the only way to really help the environment is to be politically active constantly, to push for change with manufacturers and politicians. That recycling and buying compact fluorescent light bulbs and using cloth napkins and composting and everything else is pretty “useless” compared to changing policies, industries and government nationally and globally.

Gulp. Blink. Blink blink. Crap.

And I immediately agreed, and disagreed. Yes, we need that kind of massive change, now - just look at recent articles about the massive ice shelf in the Antarctic breaking off - without a doubt. And, we need huge systemic change in every facet of life and industry if we’re going to really affect climate change. But to tell people what they’re doing doesn’t help, misses the point and hurts the progress being made all over the world - everyone has to start with what they can touch and do and know in their daily lives. It makes them CARE. Which then will make them want to do more, which then will hopefully make them see the crucial need for political action. If it’s not personal for them, they won’t do it. The more green you go, the inevitable step after doing all the daily living green things is political action.

Lots of people don’t care, or God forbid, can be inconvenienced with going green, I have learned. If I ask them about it, they usually get a glassy-eyed look and offer a non-explanation for why they don’t make the effort to fill in the blank (recycle, conserve, whatever). I get all kinds of people just shaking their heads at my commitment to it and writing me off, figuratively patting me on the head and saying “that’s nice”, mumbling something about a tree hugger, and then moving on quickly to something that doesn’t make them uncomfortable. I am always saddened, maddened, perplexed or a combination of the three by this. I can even say at times it challenges why I’m friends with some people. That is the hardest part about going green.

I don’t care about their opinion of me ultimately, whether it’s about going green, being vegan, not letting them put down my Midwestern home state with their uninformed assumptions about it, or whatever it may be - you can see I have an opinion about them as well (which I’m not exactly thrilled about; I strive to be non-judgmental and compassionate, but it doesn’t work all the time). We are all entitled to our beliefs. And I understand people have their priorities, difficulties, time and/or money constraints, or whatever it may be in their lives… but it’s the Earth, the air, the water, what allows us to live and breathe and have problems and joys and grief and love that we’re talking about here.

It all serves to inspire me to do more. I have joined more environmental groups, contributed more money, written to the president and senators about national green issues and continued to find more ways to go green on a personal level. I think if I counted my green activities, it would easily number a few dozen. Want to hear a few more? (Read other common, not always easy, and creative green choices in my other articles on Randomn3ss.)

1. I keep empty one-gallon water jugs in the kitchen to fill up with the cold water that comes out of the tap while waiting for the hot water to make it upstairs (second floor) from the basement. I use it to water my plants.

2. I make sure at least one and usually two meals a day are eaten without heating them up.

3. In my city the government doesn’t provide garbage service, so we haul our garbage to the places we go anyway to dump it - at the grocery store, gas station, wherever, saving a private truck from coming to our house and idling while the guy parks, takes his time to pick up the bag and throw it in, and head on to his next stop. (See # 8 below.) We have very little garbage, because…

4. We recycle greeting cards, tissue paper, wrapping paper, magazines and shiny paper like ads and junk mail, newspapers, cardboard, #1-7 plastics, aluminum, glass, office paper, tin and other scrap metal, phone books, and I take a bag of clothes, shoes and other household stuff to a charity thrift store every time I buy new things, to have less stuff for me to manage, and less stuff in the garbage. I also choose items with the least amount of packaging, and even don’t buy some things (gasp!) if the package can’t be recycled.

5. I park my car so that I can drive straight out instead of having to back up to get out. Studies say it saves on gas. It’s certainly easier, and saves time. I also get more exercise because often the only way to do that is park farther away from the entrance of where I’m going.

6. I now shop closer to home to save on gas consumption. It has been easier than I thought it would be, and saves me a lot of time and gas money.

7. I was given over 100 votive candles, so I’m using less electricity for lights.

8. I turn my car off if I’m going to idle for more than 10 seconds after reading that it takes less gas to restart the car, contrary to most people’s belief.

9. I keep glass jars to use for food storage rather than buying those disposable (or not) plastic food containers. Glass can be used for years, and won’t stain and get stinky and sticky like the plastics do - they break down, which means chemicals being released into the food.

10. I never buy note pads. I cut up paper to reuse for a variety of purposes.

11. This year I’m planning to join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), which is a great way to support local farmers, have great produce, and save money and time: From Local Harvest, “CSA is a way for the food buying public to create a relationship with a farm and to receive a weekly basket of produce. By making a financial commitment to a farm, people become “members” (or “shareholders,” or “subscribers”) of the CSA. Most CSA farmers prefer that members pay for the season up-front, but some farmers will accept weekly or monthly payments… The number of CSAs in the United States was estimated at 50 in 1990, and has since grown to over 1000.”

12. I have a system for washing and rinsing dishes that uses very little water, including, obviously, not letting the water run unnecessarily. We use a natural dish soap, too.

13. We keep a big bucket in the bathroom and when we turn on the shower, we let the bucket fill up with the cold water while waiting for the hot water (see #1 above), and when the bucket is full, use that water to flush the toilet.

I’m going to stop listing things now. When I wrote “want to hear a few more?” above, I didn’t know it would go to thirteen. But I’m not actually surprised: In going through my activities, it’s clear to me it is a real lifestyle. I look for the green opportunity and choice in everything I do, at work, home, traveling and play. When I add the thirteen to those listed in other things I’ve written, it makes me smile, and feel like and know I’m making a difference, even if others continue to believe otherwise. I disagree: It makes a difference to me and to everything I touch.

There is no way to be perfectly 100% green 100% of the time. It’s not possible, though I’ve read about some people in Japan and other places where they have to go to crazy lengths to conserve in ways people in the U.S could never even fathom. But going greener is a great process, and even though you’re never done, you never get to the end, it’s a great journey worth deciding to take for life. I have learned a lot (and, some day I’ll learn to write down my sources every time and add them to the bottom of the articles), about the world, and myself - a double green gift.

I now have to return to compassion and take back my put-down of the person whose green glory is ‘only’ turning down her thermostat when they leave the house. They are on a green journey, too, thankfully. Good luck on yours - don’t stop at Earth Hour, or Earth Day (April 22nd). Commit to “Earth Life”, for the good of the planet, and for your personal world.

I’ve recently had the pleasure of pursuit of several wonderful young men who have eschewed all logic and decided that maybe they would like to get to know me better.  On an intimate level.  Learn my hopes and dreams and maybe see my boobs.  Basically, I’ve been asked out on some dates.  Yes - me.  Despite my first reaction, which is “if they want to date me, they must be insane, say no,” I’ve allowed my ego and lust to get the better of me and I’ve said yes.  Things go well for about 2.5 seconds and then…

Clusterfuck.

I think I’ve pinpointed some reasons for why my dating life lasts about 2 dinners and a makeout session then ends abruptly.  Here’s my genius interpretation:

My first problem is that I don’t have time for anything.  I work pretty much all the time.  I spend 40 hrs a week schilling sporting goods in the city, bartend, and get paid to recap TV shows (so that’s an hour to watch the episode and an hour to write the recap).  On my days off, I trek home to Allentown to see my family (who, incidentally, will always come first), do laundry, run… basically, I get all the shit done that my normal work day doesn’t allow me to do.  I’m always down to hang out, but not necessarily at the expense of getting shit done. 

This leads to my next issue, which has something to do with my priorities.  I’ve always said that if you want to do something badly enough, you make time.  I guess I don’t want to date because I’m not making the time, but my friends, family, and work are coming first right now.  With this impending move to Colorado in August, I’m even more attuned to the fact that Philly will no longer be my home.  I mean, until last night, I hadn’t seen my friend Jackie in almost a year and she lives 45 goddamn minutes away.  So once I’m nestled in the mountains across the country, I’m pretty much never going to see her.  Making up for lost time in these 5 months is more important than sharing awkward silence and playing kissyface with someone who might decide that my lack of a filter is unattractive after 4 dates. 

So does the failure to make time and re-prioritize the position of my romantic life signal to some underlying self-destructive desire to be single?  Yeah, I don’t know about that so much.  I think I’ve been single for so long that it’s comfortable.  I have a routine that doesn’t revolve around anyone else’s satisfaction other than my own.  I’ve become selfish in this time, but it’s served to provide success to some extent.  I finally got into grad school, am fit and running, have amazing friends and a bangin’ social life.  Maybe I’m also not ready to share this with someone else because it’s something that’s ultimately mine.

Alright, I’m getting harassed by my family to rejoin in the Easter festivities.  Yeah, it’s Easter, what better day to be concerned about my sex life.  In the meantime, I think I’m going to stick to what I know best, and that’s me.  And if Mr. Baseball, Bboy, and Band-aid can’t deal with that, then it’s not meant to be.  And I’m also going to Jack Daniels the Carrie Bradshaw out of me.  Ugh.

Okay, I’ve been quiet for a while, so I thought I’d try to talk about it. I am not quite sure what to say, really. The demise of Eliot Spitzer totally threw me for a loop, and now the fall of Bear-Stearns. And the ongoing attempt by the Bush administration to undermine the policies of the EPA. And about a third of the people I work with being out sick with a plague that leaves them less than half-baked for more than a week. Then there’s the ongoing mortgage crisis and the slow fall (perhaps) into recession. And, let’s not talk about the price of gas, or what feels like the 5th year of the current presidential campaign.

I just honestly don’t know where to start to write about things, and further don’t know what to say that would help or be witty or biting or creative.

Is this writer’s block? Is it me feeling an existential crisis of a larger scale, feeling the country’s collective woes? Do I just need some chocolate and a long overdue glass of red wine? Am I the only one who feels this way, i.e. speechless?

I went to the opera the other night. First time for me. I don’t know what to say about that either, except it’s astounding how much sound one person’s lungs can make, while wearing funny clothes and committing murder and suicide. The over-the-top drama of it all, and the gorgeous voices made me smile at least.

So, instead of rambling on, I’d just like to know if others are also left wondering what to say about things, or if it’s just me. If it’s the latter, I can accept that, don’t worry.

I don’t take days off from work very often, but when I do, here’s my list of favorite things to do, although I don’t usually do them all in the same day off. (If I tried, then it would feel like work, and then I would be mad, and the day would be ruined. Okay, not ruined. I’m not at work, right?)

5. Have no schedule. It’s great just to do what you want, go where you want, on a whim for once. For me, weekends are typically spent doing stuff I don’t have time to do during the week like cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, catching up on correspondence, doing laundry, getting gas in the car, checking my post office box, going to the bank… the list goes on for life maintenance. While I might think about things I’d like to do as the day off approaches, I refrain from actually making a schedule for it, and consciously vow just to go with the moment, the feeling, the inspiration that comes that day.

4. Go somewhere or do something I’ve been wanting to but have been putting off. For me, that might be going to a gallery, going to the ocean, trying a new restaurant for lunch (less expensive than dinner, so if I don’t like it, I’m not out that much money), spending time exploring something on the web uninterrupted (nothing is more wonderful than getting to concentrate on one thing for a nice stretch of time; nice to get away from the ADD of the workplace), taking a drive or day trip to a place I’ve never been before.

3. Be totally lazy. It’s so nice just to stay in pajamas, slug around in slippers, not do my hair, not put on make up, not do the dishes, not straighten up, not work on projects I should. In all honesty, I get bored with this after a while, but for a few slovenly hours, I really like it.

2. Take a nap. Or a few. Nothing is more decadent than doing a little reading, taking a nap, eating a little, taking a nap, stretching and wandering aimlessly around the house, and taking a nap.

1. Sleep late. Okay, actually, sleeping late is the most luxurious thing for me. I’m a light sleeper (which means I don’t always sleep great), so to get a couple extra hours is the best vacation, even if it’s just for one day.

Honorable mention: Bubble bath. (Just don’t nap in the bathtub.)

What are your favorite day-off activities?

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