Best Pumpkin Carvings of 2011

Four years ago I published the Best pumpkin carvings of 2007, it’s hard to believe that was four  years ago already! I figured it was about time for an update, so I scoured through some files and archives and found some really great photos!  First and foremost on the list is an amazing pumpkin featuring a portrait of Steve Jobs, may he rest in piece.

Steve Jobs [PA080528]

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Ad’s That Just Don’t Work Anymore

Even though it’s 2010 some of my friends still forward countless stupid emails.  Angela, the same person responsible for sending me the insanely popular best pumpkins post just forwarded me an email that’s too good not to post up.

I’m already a huge fan of Mad Men, the TV show based in the early 60’s and focusing on the advertising industry of New York City so this collection of ads that just don’t work anymore, while totally sexist and completely wrong, still made me chuckle a bit.

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A Croaking Good Time!

I should start by noting that theater has never much been my thing. I’ve seen Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, Avenue Q etc. etc. and I enjoyed them to be sure, but not enough to pay the exorbitant price tag that inevitably goes with them. Here, in New York, I have discovered the masterpiece of theater for those of us whose goal is to drink and have a good time; Flanagan’s Wake. Continue reading »

F My Life The Book Now Available

Back in February I introduced you to FML, a little acronym that has taken over the Internet and gave us  Today, the creators of finally released the long awaited printed book, F My Life.

F My Life Book

At just over $10, it’s far from spendy and should keep you entertained on your favorite reading chair, aka toilet, for hours on end.   The editor’s notes are,

Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better?

288 pages of people’s lives getting ruined, disappointed and humiliated.  Great, until it happens to me, FML.

“Outrageous” Saving Tips For a Slumping Economy

Today’s economy is tough.  Even the billion dollar bank businesses are asking for a hand-out, but with some creative thinking there are ways to save even in these rougher financial times.  These 10 tips are meant to be taken half seriously, but could end up saving you a good chunk of change.

Smoking Butts

I saw a man picking butts up off the ground at the park the other day.  Smoking is a gross habit that many people are addicted to, but that doesn’t mean you should be picking butts out of ashtrays or off the ground to save a few bucks.  Depending on where you live, a pack of smokes can cost you upwards of $7,  so it’s easy to understand why the people in the park are picking butts up off the ground.  Then again, maybe they’re just keeping the park clean, but I doubt it.

Car Engine Cooking

If you’re fortunate enough to have a car that is, your engine is a great source of heat that can easily be harnessed for cooking.  When going from point A to Point B, why not go ahead and have your meal prepared by your car just in time for arrival.

Here’s a Car Engine Cookbook called Manifold Destiny, the self-proclaimed One and Only car engine cookbook.

Free Rent…a.k.a. Camping

There are hundreds of campgrounds across the United States where camping with a tent is absolutely free, usually on state or government land.  There are dozens of guides out that do list free campgrounds, but if the economy is slumping, and you can’t find a place to sleep other than in your car/oven, then I doubt you’d be buying a guide, or have the cash to get gas.

Rest Areas

Most states allow sleeping in their rest areas, as long as you are in a vehicle.  I have traveled all across the United States more than once and have been quite content pulling into a rest area for some much needed shut-eye.  Only once have I ever been asked to move by a police officer, and that was in New Jersey when I was parked on a bridge.  I must have been extremely tired.  It looked like a parking space to me.  Don’t leave home without first checking out the Rest Area Guide to the United States and Canada.

Another great place is  Who says you have to be travelling to hitch a couch for a night?

Bus Tours on the Cheap

If you happen to get bounced out of a town for vagrancy and find yourself in a new locality, why not put some spare change to work and hop on a city bus for a tour of your new found home?  For about fifty cents, you can most likely get a good look at your new digs from the inside of a city bus.  If you’re really interested you can spring for the ten cent transfer and get another slice of the city, possibly scoping out some thrift shops and a soup kitchen or two.

Soup Kitchens

Most towns have a soup kitchen that’s available to anyone at all.  There are probably half a dozen that I can think of within ten miles or so of my home.  I don’t frequent them, but I have seen the gatherings when it’s time for dinner to be served.  If you’re in need of a hot meal, and you can make it to a soup kitchen, I think it’s the way to go.  Most are subsidized by local grocery stores, churches, and local organizations.

Dumpster Diving

Dumpster diving is similar to riding a moped, we’ve all done it but no one wants to admit to it.  There are lots of great treasures to be had in dumpsters.  Try your hand at dumpsters behind department stores, electronics stores, and even furniture stores.  Just one good item that’s been tossed could bring you a pretty penny from a pawn shop.  The pawn broker doesn’t need to know that the printer is broken, or that the chair you brought in isn’t an antique.  Just collect your cash, say have a nice day, I’ll see you when the first payment is due, and head on out.  He’s just going to sell it anyway.

Act the Part

It’s getting warm out now, and in our local park there is no shortage of free entertainment.  There’s a man on a bench daily that plays the banjo, a one-man band that dances a funny jig, and sometimes the city will even hire entertainment for the pedestrians.  If you have a particular flair for music, singing, dancing, or the hot new thing, Live Tweets!, then get yourself an old hat, throw it down next to a banjo-playin’ hobo, and get to it.

After scoring a few dollars, and with a hot meal in your belly from the soup kitchen or from your own cars engine, then you can afford that book on free campgrounds.

Free Entertainment

Now that you’ve been the entertainment, it’s time to get yours.  Libraries and book stores offer a great source of  free entertainment.  Heck, some bookstores even have nice comfy chairs to fall asleep in for hours at a time. Many libraries now offer free internet access, book readings, and even movies are shown once a week.  I would highly recommend you use these free sources of entertainment, but beware their cafe’.  They are extremely overpriced, but you may be able to score a sample if the Barista is in a good mood.  The “I forgot my wallet” should probably work.

Check out HoboModo Daily

Frequent the HoboModo section of  GizModo’s DealzModo Gadget Deals of the Day online.  There is no better source for the locations of free services, products, and eats. Why just yesterday, there was a coupon code for a free 8×10 photo from Walgreens, a free 2-Piece Grilled Chicken Meal at KFC, and a free magazine subscription.  If you don’t care for the magazine, get it anyway.  It could come in handy for kindling, padding for your refrigerator box bed, or to shoo flies away from the dumpster while you dive for goodies.

Do your local hobos a favor and keep a few printed folded up copies of this list in your pocket when you go to the city center or local park and throw one in the hat when you pass by.  You might just be giving them some much needed information.  A dollar or two wouldn’t hurt either.

Free hugs campaign

Yesterday I sent out a Twitter message asking people to share their favorite YouTube and Vimeo videos, @insomnic shared the free hugs campain.


Share your favroite video with me via comments here or @mikepanic.


Simple little acronyms have completely taken over the internet.  Most everyone who has done an instant message chat session or a text message on a phone is familiar with LOL, or laugh out loud, and BRB, be right back.  Acronyms have been around forever, some have slipped so far into our verbal dialect that we just say them without much thought, like FUBAR, Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition, ASAP, As Soon As Possible, and VIP, Very Important Person. 2007’s movie Superbad introduced the world to a new acronym, FML, short for Fuck My Life.

As with all good things, it has now become a website with short user submitted stories.  Matt made a tweet (@xcrament) late last night that had me full engaged, laughing and entertained for nearly a half hour. Let me share with you,, and get read to spend some time reading, laughing and feeling bad for random people you’ll never meet.

A few choice stories,

Today, this guy took me to Denny’s on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, I can’t decide what’s worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it’s perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

If you are brave enough, share your FML story!

Her Majesty Shagswell has won herself the Pimps and Ho’s game

And we have a winner in the Pimps and Ho’s board game contest that ran from earlier this month until this past Wednesday, Her Magesty Shagswell.  May no pimp slap you, enjoy the game!

Where ma baby powder at, I gotta slap a ho!

Photo by: Mandi Gaga

For those who didn’t win, thanks for playing, please try again next time.  If you can’t wait to play now, you can order the game here.

Win Pimps and Ho’s board game, just in time for the HO-lidays

Last month I reviewed the new board game Pimps and Ho’s, several Randomn3ss readers sent me messages about how cool the game looked.  It is, and to prove it, I’m giving one away with The Whole Wad expansion pack.  Total value is $69.99.  Here’s how to enter.

Follow the directions below to get your Pimp Name and post it as a comment with a valid email address (hidden from public, but I need a way to contact you).  That’s it.

Please read all the directions and look at all the screen captures prior to clicking the link to get started!

Click here to get your pimp name (will open in a new window or tab for you automatically).

Fill out this information:

Click Submit

Your pimp name will be generated, click the word Code where the red arrow is pointing:

Highlight all the text and right click and choose copy, as shown by the red arrow (CTRL + C or CMD + C for advanced users):

Come back to the window or tab that this article is in and fill out your Name, Email and Website (if you have one).  In the Comment box, right click and paste, as shown by the red arrow (CTRL + V or CMD + V for advanced users):

You should now see a whole bunch of text in the comment box, as shown below.  Click on the Submit Comment button to leave your comment.  I’d also suggest prior to submitting you tick the Notify me of followup comments via e-mail option so you can stay up to date with this article.

That’s it, you’ve entered!  This contest will run until midnight EST on December 17th, 2008.  On the 18th I will randomly select one Pimp from all the replies.  That should be enough time for me to mail this out and you get it prior to the holidays if you are thinking of re-gifting.  I do ask that you take a photo of yourself holding it and email me the photo so I can share it with everyone, and please wear your most Pimp outfit.

If you can’t wait and need to play now, you can order the game here.

Disclaimer: Randomn3ss nor myself are in any way affiliated with, the website that has the Pimp Name Generator.  Additionally, this contest is only open to residents in the USA.  If you would like to enter and live in another country, please contact me to discuss shipping costs and import duties that you would be required to cover prior to entering.

George Bush throws up the Shocker, sorta

Lauren sent me an email with a link to this official White House webpage showing George Bush throwing up the shocker,

The quote under the photo on the official site says that it’s Dubya meeting with some Arizona State track & field stars.  This, in itself is funny.  Then I went to Wikipedia to get the definition of Shocker for those who have been living in the dark and sadly found this:

The shocker should not be confused with similar looking hand gestures such as “The Pitchfork,” (pictured below) is a Hand signal used at Arizona State University, (notice the spacing between the Index and Middle Finger).

Meh! I still say he’s throwing up the shocker!