Randomn3ss

Ending a long-standing war between Kidd Chris and everyone else, WYSP 94.1 finally fired the shock jock’s ass. Not only was he unfunny (at least in my opinion), but racist as he played a song by musically-regrettable Lady Gash. He played it not once… but twice… and repeated clips of it throughout the month of March, also prompting the firing of WYSP’s program director, John Cook. Further info on the official corporate response and the offending song can be found at Dan Gross’s Daily News column here.

You know, I’m glad this guy got his. Kidd Chris represents the stereotypical “Pennsyltucky” persona - xenophobic, undereducated, and angry at nothing. Maybe I just don’t personally find his brand of humor to be amusing - and, hey, to each their own - but I think you cross a line when you play blatantly racist music, get your rocks off by attempting to humiliate competing personalities (because you apparently can’t get by on your own), and generally cast a pessimistic shadow over the community. Granted, traditionally “black” radio stations and personalities (Wendy Williams, anyone?) blast white people all the time, promoting a sick double-standard that’s all too prevalent in this ultra-PC (at least for white people) society. I think racism and ethnic persecution is ugly, no matter who is doing it. I am saying that it doesn’t matter who is doing it - it’s never right.

I guess the reaction from most people would be - “You don’t like it, don’t listen.” That’s definitely my stance (if you hate my writing and my blog, fuck off, don’t read it). However, I was disgusted by the effect Kidd Chris had on friends of mine in the industry. His egging on of listeners to harass and threaten other radio personalities was sickening to me and I’m surprised it took this long to can his ass. Everyone is entitled to an opinion (hey, you hate Preston and Steve? Great, that’s totally your call and I respect that. I have no opinion regardless), but the limit of opinion exists at the line where the comfort and livelihood of another sentient being is threatened.

If you like him, follow Kidd Chris to satellite or bumblefuck or wherever the hell he ends up. I don’t wish him ill will, I’m just glad that motherfucker is out of my airwaves and done embarrassing my city. We’re better than this, Philly… aren’t we?

Here. Just look at the picture below. It’s been in all the major print news outlets since Monday morning. In Metro, it was juxtaposed next to a headline with Bush’s comment that the deaths of 4,000 American soldiers in Iraq has not been in vain.

And shame on you, Easter Bunny. I thought you were better than this - a partisan attention whore who jumps in on any photo-op possible, despite the fact that you are inextricably attached to a religiously-based holiday in a country where church and state are to remain separate. For shame, Easter Bunny!! Added to the fact that I got Luna bars instead of Reese’s peanut butter eggs, now I’m really pissed at you (are you calling me fat, Easter Bunny??). You just keep being pink and fluffy and emotionless with those big, coked-out pupils and hug the demon next to you. By the way, don’t get too cozy - his reign of terror ends on January 20, 2008.

Do you have your barf bags ready? Here’s the picture:

Add it onto the list! I have a new guilty pleasure.

That’s right… in addition to gossip blogs, novelizations of episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Sting’s solo albums, you can add Miley Cyrus.

Yep - that’s right. I’ve got a crush on Hannah Montana.

Alright, so it’s not really a crush (despite her cute, vaguely jail-bait MySpace pics), but I cannot stop listening to her single “See You Again.” It perfectly describes all of my high school interactions with boys (as well as most of my current interactions with boys). The stuttering, the grasping for words, the assertion that, yes, next time I see you, I will redeem myself! However, my best friend is not named Leslie. How do I know that Miley’s best friend is Leslie? Thanks to the best lyric in the song: “You asked what’s wrong with me/My best friend Leslie said/’Oh, she’s just being Miley’.” Yeah, that’s how.

I first stumbled upon this song on my friend Kristen’s MySpace page. Now, Kristen works for a rock radio station and one of it’s most ball-busting DJs, so I assumed it was meant to be a joke. So, I laughed and was like, “Kristen is a tool.” However, this week she has a Mims song on there, so I’m guessing maybe she’s really coveting a job at Q102. Anyway, I never actually listened to the song, but instinctively knew the name when I heard it played on, where else, Q102. I was driving to Allentown and flipping during commercials/moments of static and was like “This song has a really good beat… it’s so cute… fuckin’ a, it’s that goddamn Hannah Montana song.”

So I did what any other rational, rock-loving 24-year-old would do: immediately added it to my MySpace and paid $0.99 to download it on iTunes.

Go listen to this musical excuse for crack at Miley’s MySpace here.

Entertainment Tonight aired Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn’s visit to Anna Nicole Smith’s grave. The film crew and host, Jann Carl, traveled to Nassau. This is where Anna Nicole Smith and her son, Daniel are buried. Both of their graves are unmarked.

Any death, a celebrity or not, is always a tough thing to understand and get through. People need time to grieve properly. Since the death of Anna Nicole Smith countless things have happened. There have been lawsuits, media frenzies, pictures and videos leaked and now this?

Obviously the media has blown this out of proportion. They cannot let a family nor a person lay to rest. It seems that Larry Birkhead is buying into the media by exploiting his daughter. She’s 17 months old! Yes, I think it’s good that they are visiting her grave. Although, I don’t believe it’s necessary for the cameras to be around them.

This just makes the media seem even more money hungry than ever. This includes Larry Birkhead.

It appears that they are trying to stretch out the death of Anna Nicole Smith until there is nothing left to make money off of.

Brad Renfro, died about a month ago. I guarantee not as many people knew about his death as much as they knew about Anna Nicole Smith or even Heath Ledger.

I hope that this does not happen to Heath and his family.

Here is the link to the video of ET’s commercial for the show with DannieLynn and Larry Birkhead.

Happy Birthday to everyone celebrating their birthday today.

Yes, that’s me, I admit it!

And, along with unknowns like me, a number of pretty cool and/or famous people share this birth date:

Paul Newman (love him!), Wayne Gretzky, Ellen DeGeneres, Douglas MacArthur, Roger Vadim, Bob Uecker, Scott Glenn, Anita Baker, Eddie Van Halen, and Eartha Kitt (love her!).

In looking for information on January birthdays, I ran across a website that listed January observances. Here are some of the more unusual ones that caught my eye.

Did you know that January is:

- Bath Safety Month
- Careers in Cosmetology Month
- Clown Month
- Oatmeal Month
- Poverty in America Month
- Thyroid Disease Awareness Month

I didn’t.

The first week of January is Diet Resolution Week. Of course.

The second week of January is, among others, School Guard Crossing week.

The third week of January is Cuckoo Dancing Week, celebrating Laurel and Hardy movies; Oliver Hardy’s birthday is January 18.

And the fourth week of January is:
- Catholic Schools Week (Aww… I was a Catholic school girl. Was. I’m recovered now, and I never wear plaid.)
- National Meat Week (Agh! I don’t eat meat, as anyone who read this blog knows.)
- Healthy Weight Week (I guess this is the follow up to Diet Resolution Week.)

Enough with all that, back to birthdays. Are you a January (26th or otherwise) birthday baby? What do you do to celebrate? I’m being taken out to lunch and then have a dinner party with friends.

Once I learned I had the same birthday as Paul Newman, I always wanted to call him up and ask him (and his wife, Joanne Woodward, whom I also adore) to lunch. Maybe this is the year. I think I’ll go look for his number, after being careful in the bath, learning more about my thyroid, and donating some oatmeal or something to the needy.

I recently got into a debate with my buddy Jaxon over the fact that John Mayer was called one of the greatest guitarists (or some similar shit) by Rolling Stone.  I disagreed - since someone like Adam Jones from Tool was left out - but then I realized it’s not because I think John Mayer is a bad guitar player.

I think John Mayer is a douchebag.

No, I don’t like Your Body is a Wonderland, especially since it was allegedly written about Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose body is not a wonderland at all.  Unless by “wonderland” you mean “really well airbrushed in all of those men’s magazines and definitely NOT a size 2, even though she gave People Magazine a really misleading statement that sort of claimed that she was.”  Then, yeah, it’s a wonderland.  But otherwise, no.  And then he dated/didn’t date/hate-fucked Jessica Simpson who embodies almost everything that is wrong with mass media today (except for her huge tits, there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s more the underwhelming talent).

Basically, give John Mayer a guitar and tell him to shut the hell up.  This includes blogging.  John Mayer - you’re not allowed to blog.  Just keep writing those bluesy licks that people love you so much for and leave the writing to people like me, who work in retail and have nothing better to do in their off-time.  And if you need proof as to why you should shut up, please reference your recent blog on “douchebags.” 

Allow me to comment on one such erudite paragraph from the aforementioned blog:

And “douchebag” was on the vinegary tips of everyone’s tongues this year. Trouble is, I’m not really clear on what it means, and I don’t know that anyone does. I know that I get called one. Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy, by measure of a google search, is a douchebag 11,100 times over, or the number of results that the search engine says exist. Zach Braff, who himself wrote one of the better films I’ve seen in the last decade is also frequently ‘bagged, as is some guy named Brody Jenner. In fact, if you want to go big, so is Michael Stipe, Bono (”supreme douchebag”), Thom Yorke, Will Smith and Brad Pitt.

John, don’t defend Pete Wentz.  Especially not since his current gf is your ex-gf’s sister.  It can’t be because you really think Fall Out Boy is that worthy of accolades.  The tunes are catchy, but Fall Out Boy is not the end-all be-all of music.  It’s not innovative or completely special (unless you are 14, paint your last two fingernails black, and update your MySpace layout on the daily).  As for Zach Braff… well… contrary to what you might believe, Garden State wasn’t that good; it was the quitessential emo-writer-I’m misunderstood because it’s easier to be misunderstood than to realize you’re just like everyone else movie.  Stop wasting your jizz on it.  Guys idolize the Natalie Portman character, but if you met her in real life, you’d tear your fucking hair out with all her high-maintenance, “but I’m different!” shit.  And I hear that Zach Braff treats common people like shit, so yeah, he’s a douchebag.  Lastly, Brody Jenner is a douchebag because not only is his popularity based on that of his dad, but he’s also famous for being the fake-boyfriend of a fake-TV “star.”  Douuuuuuche.

I’ve never heard a bad word about Will Smith (it doesn’t hurt that he’s from Philly and we love to see our own blossom as long as they don’t cause us to lose a Superbowl), so, no, not a douche.  Bono, Thom Yorke, Michael Stipe - music legends in the making, front-runners of their genres (except for the ZooTV tour, sorry Bono) and overall fucking artistic geniuses.  I’m not sure which misanthropes called them douches, but it wasn’t me or anyone else who is awesome.

You, John Mayer, have opened up a new can of worms with your foray into discovering the deeper meaning of “douchebaggery.”  I suggest you stick to the guitar.  However, if you need further assistance, call one of my many exes.  They can help you flesh out that definition.

Thanks to Just Jared for first posting here.

25 years ago today, December 26th, Time Magazine which announces an annual Man of the year issue (later called Person of the year) that doesn’t feature anyone. Time decides to announce the Machine of the year and the home personal computer to be the most important feature of 1982.

Source: Time Magazine archives

Unflattering pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bikini hit the internet last week and started a veritable shitstorm of blog comments and debates about body image. To that I say - everyone shut the fuck up. Just shut up. Homegirl let herself go a little bit. JLove has natural curves and no talent and I am okay with both of those things. However, she needs to not be allowed to blog on her MySpace ever again because no one cares what she thinks. She raves about how a size 2 isn’t fat; it’s not, but there’s no way in hell she’s a size 2. And my major problem with JLove is that she could have prevented this all from happening.

This is clearly her fault. No, I’m not talking about hitting the gym (although it couldn’t hurt, she’s looking a lil fleshy). She has been on enough moderately (inexplicably?) successful TV shows to know that when you wear an ill-fitting, fugly-ass bikini on a beach laden with photographers, you are going to be criticized. First, the top - JLove, you have huge tits and a bandeau is just not going to do it. Get something with a wire or a halter cut to support those puppies. I can only imagine the bruising on your knees from the constant beating from your breasts. Second, the bottoms - why would a girl with wider hips ever pick hipster bottoms with low-cut legs? She looks stubby and broad and neither is a good look. High-cut bottoms elongate the leg and thinner side straps don’t draw as much attention to your child-bearing pelvis. There is just more fug here than I can deal with.

I understand too that negative body image is a problem, especially among young girls. And I agree that we place almost unreachable standards of beauty on celebrities. However, here’s my deal - for as many girls have negative body image, there are like 90 obese people reaching for cheesesteak #2 (yes, these are clearly real facts, I live in Philly, one of the fattest cities in America and I am pretty much an expert). Also, if you’re a celebrity and can afford a personal trainer, whatever healthy food you wanted, and someone to tell you what to wear, why not have a bangin’ body? I think it’s interesting too that we criticize Hollywood and the fashion industry for promoting skinny people, but you never see Runner’s World get criticized for having emaciated-looking marathoners on the cover (check out Jan 2008 issue, the chick on the front has bangin’ legs but is skinny and airbrushed as fuck and it’s kinda gross).

Whatever. Buy a better bikini and fire your stylist. And stop your blogging and being famous then no one will give a shit what you look like (and the world will be rid one more talentless chick with huge tits). There, problem solved.

If you wanna look at the offending pics, start with this artice at People.com and work your way from there. I’m too lazy to post links. I just like to rant before I go to the bar.

Celebrity tattoo artist Kat Von D recently did a collaboration with legendary Dogtown skater, surfer and skateboard designer Wes “Bulldog” Humpston on a deck with the intention of selling it and giving all the money to charity. This just aired on Von D’s TV show, LA Ink, YouTube clips are below. 100% of the sale will go to the Tony Hawk Foundation, a nice twist to see that all the money will be going to charity, not just some of it. The auction can be seen here on eBay, it is already over $3,000 and still has 6 days to go.

Kat Meets Wes

They start to draw the deck

If you’re anything like me (and, seriously, who wouldn’t want to be?), you have several blogs in your Google reader and have them in order of which you read religiously and those you only skim on occasion. Well, after Randomn3ss, you need to add Webster’s is My Bitch to the list of those that you read on the daily. Brought to you by two Pajiba regulars (actually… these guys have contributed to several blogs, including Yeeeah! and Litely Salted), Stacey and Dustin, Webster’s is My Bitch provides scathing and smart celebrity-themed gossip. They start each post with a keyword and define said word by a star’s actions, stupidity, or series of stupid actions (as the case may be). The material is not only clever, but includes original news items and celebrity quotes; I don’t feel like I’ve read these posts already on Crazy Days and Nights or Dlisted, both of which tend to post celeb gossip material first. The crew over at WiMB has their proverbial shit together - go check it out and show them some comment love!

Um, and you should also keep reading here everyday because we’re the awesome-est. Thanks.

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