I just got home from work and errands, and so I’m sitting here, typing a post and reading the gossip blogs and I have so much shit to do.  Specifically, I need to get my Santa Claus on and wrap some presents.  I mean – Christmas is suddenly fucking TOMORROW and there are just tons of City Sports bags and boxes and, ugh, I am overwhelmed.  Oh, yeah, I said City Sports bags; did you guys really think I would buy gifts anywhere else?  Okay, there and the liquor store.

Anyway – I hate wrapping presents.  Hate it.  And do you know why I hate it?  Because I suck at it.  That is the same reason that I hate math and snowboarding.  I’m simply not good at it and I have to struggle on purpose.  Listen, I am all about challenging myself, but I know my freaking limits.  My wrapping will never look like that of the 96-year-old women at Macy’s who wrap that shit for you.  My corners look like the bed of a retarded Marine, it’s just sloppy.  And I can’t cut the paper straight so my edges are jagged.  At the end, there is tape stuck in my hair, shards of paper on the ground, and I forgot the bows. 

And to label which gift is which.

Fuck.

So I carefully unwrap them (meaning, I summarliy rip the paper as soon as I touch it, thus making it un-recyclable).  I re-wrap them, give myself about 10 papercuts, and label them.  And under the tree they go…

Alright, I need to go get this done.  Merry Xmas or whatever guys!!

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