As I officially reach two months of sobriety a sense of accomplishment and bedwilderment wash over me.

Although I knew I would reach two months of sobriety it is still somewhat shocking to me. I think back to what life was like two or even six months ago. It seems like ages ago but most of all I wonder how could I handle all of that now? The things I used to put myself through does not seem plausible nowadays.

We are all creatures of habit. Some of our routines are not easy to break and take a very long time to revise oneself. Our whole lives we try to determine what will make us happy. Although we may have what seems like a great “comfort zone” it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what’s healthy and/or right for us. One of my favorite quotes by a great writer is, “Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable,” by Franz Kafka. I am by no means on a throne but when I look upon others lives including friends I hope that one day they discover what is right rather than the norm.

We do have a way of molding ourselves out of balls of wax. While we do shapeshift every once in awhile adjusting to new environments essentially we are still the same people as we were before. It’s a matter of a balancing act. If you put too many lemons in the lemonade it will come out with a bitter taste. If you do the right amount it will be balanced, sweet and tangy.

A majority of people just sit and watch from the comfort of their couches, chairs, desks or cars. There are few who do something to make a change. Whether it be something as becoming sober for a few months or seeking answers to life or just exploring what makes someone happy. I think we all need a point in our life where we decide to change instead of watching our life pass us by.

These days have not been easy. Truthfully, as I get closer to my three month mark it has been more difficult to stay sober especially with stress. The things that keep me going is determination, strength and the impact I have had on others. It also helps that I do not wake up with an uneasy feeling in my stomach wanting to keel over and die.

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