08.31Paper can’t win
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This article was written by Mike Panic
Receiving forwarded emails sucks, luckily most of my friends don’t bother doing it, but a co-worker did send me a pretty funny one today and I’m sharing.
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!
Great moral story.
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Read 7930 times, 8 so far today
Sounds like your friend needs to dial back on his Red Bull intake?
August 31st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Nothing makes me spine tingle like well-written prose.
August 31st, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Andy - you just made me feel dumb for the day, I had to look up what prose meant
August 31st, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Dude, everyone knows that the word prose comes from the Latin prosa, meaning straightforward, hence the term “prosaic,” which is often seen as pejorative.
I mean, come on!
August 31st, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Haha, gonna try that for sure.
The rules of that game make no sense at all.
October 9th, 2007 at 8:59 am
That made me laugh… Did Maddox (or maddox.xmission.com) write this?
It sounds very much like his style of writing. I mean I’m not saying it was him but it’s something he would write.
at any rate very funny:)
October 9th, 2007 at 9:47 am
This is funny
October 12th, 2007 at 5:30 am
Dude has obviously never wrapped friends up in rolls of newsprint. Even after soaking them with a hose it’s tough to get out, if you do it right.
October 12th, 2007 at 5:03 pm