Yesterday Elizabeth wrote 10 Things men should always do. There are some insightful things in there that, at least for me, should be common knowledge, but I’m sure someone will find them useful. There is always a flip side to the coin. Like Elizabeth, I’m in my 20’s, OK late 20’s, single and get some attention from women. I am grown up enough to admit that I am far from perfect and am aware of changes I need to make to myself, however women also need to pay attention to. In direct rebuttal to Elizabeth’s top 10, my 10 are:

  1. Give us an honest hug. Elizabeth and a commenter complained about a limp handshake from men. The women version is the bend at waist, keeping feet two feet from a man while giving them a hug hello or a hug goodbye. That is a fine thing to do if it’s a family member or friend, but if it’s a date, lean in and hug us we actually do like it.
  2. Tell us what you like. I’ll happily bring you something but I need to know what you are interested in. Flowers are nice, but it’s also an easy out. Going out on a limb here, us men are kind of dumb, don’t always hint around to what you like and don’t like, sometimes you need to creatively tell us outright. If we are too stupid to listen and remember, shame on us.
  3. Be OK with a lunch date. I have no problem paying for a meal when we go out, but be open to the idea of a lunch date as a first or second date, not the five star restaurants you have been dying to go to. Why? Because if we don’t gel well, not only am I not going to be excited to spend a few hundred on dinner, I’m stuck with you throughout the whole two or more hours that we will be there. Lunch dates are great because they have virtually no impact on a wallet and if things don’t go well, you can bounce in 45 minutes. If the date does go well, sit and drink coffee with me and let the discussions flow.
  4. Say thank you when I open the door. My Mother who not only taught me how to open doors for others but to also say please and thank you raised me. If I open the door for you, please have the courtesy to look me in the eyes as you walk past, say thank you or at least nod your head in acknowledgment of my gesture towards you.
  5. Reach over and unlock my door. This doesn’t apply to everyone, but my car doesn’t have power locks. If I unlock your door and open it for you, by the time I get around to my side I’d at least expect you to lean over and unlock my door for me. This was called the girlfriend test in a movie I think it still applies.
  6. Don’t hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes. As much as I understand that a phone should not be answered during dinner, movie, first dozen dates, don’t disappear to the bathroom for twenty minutes to call your girlfriend and give them updates as the date is progressing. If you are not having a good time, skip dessert and go home, it’s that simple.
  7. Have condoms. Everyone should have them, not just me.
  8. Have something non-alcoholic to drink at your house. I don’t drink alcohol and don’t assume that I do. Don’t get bombed either, very unattractive.
  9. My dog will love you regardless; don’t forget to pay attention to me. Like Elizabeth, I have a small dog that is really sweet and sleeps in bed with me. She will love you no matter what and will want to play with you all day, everyday. I’m fine with that, but don’t spend so much time on her that you forget I’m there too. We come as a package, lol.
  10. Pickup the phone and call. I’m a self-admitted texting fiend however I do enjoy the sound of a woman’s voice. Certain tones, sarcasm and jokes don’t get translated well through texting, so call me. If for some reason I can’t answer, leave a message.

I just want to get along, like Elizabeth, some of this is a wish list and some is advice, not all of it is applicable to all women and not everything about dating is clear cut black and white, right or wrong. But if you go an extra step to find out a few things about me and share some things about you, we will be much happier together.

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